Stress has touched every part of my life at one point or another my energy, my mood, my patience, my confidence… and yes, even my intimacy. I used to think something was wrong with me when I felt disconnected or “not in the mood,” but the truth was simpler: my body was tired. Overwhelmed. Carrying more than anyone could see.
If you’ve ever felt that way, I want you to know you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Your body is speaking, and for the first time, you may finally understand what it’s been trying to say.
When Stress Makes Your Body Feel Closed
There were moments when a simple touch felt like pressure instead of comfort. Not because I didn’t appreciate affection, but because my nervous system was already stretched thin.
Stress does that. It shifts your body from softness into survival.
Your mind starts racing. Your muscles tense. Your breath shortens.
And even the gentlest touch can feel like one more thing you need to respond to.
I didn’t realise it at the time, but my body was choosing protection over connection. It wasn’t rejecting love it was trying to keep me afloat.
When You Love Someone But Feel Far Away
There were evenings when I sat next to the people I loved and still felt miles away.
I was there, but not really present.
My mind was juggling a thousand things. My heart felt overstimulated. My emotions felt too tired to stretch any further.
If you’ve ever felt that emotional distance even in the arms of someone you care deeply about please hear me:
Your heart isn’t cold.
Your love isn’t fading.
You’re simply overwhelmed.
Stress has a way of shrinking the space inside your mind, leaving very little room for closeness.
When Desire Goes Quiet
This part was the hardest for me to understand.
How can you love someone, find them attractive, appreciate their presence… and still feel no desire?
I used to beat myself up for this.
Until I learned that desire doesn’t vanish it gets buried.
Buried under exhaustion.
Buried under to-do lists.
Buried under the invisible roles we carry as women.
Cortisol rises, and suddenly your body switches from receiving to surviving.
It’s not that you don’t want intimacy.
It’s that your body hasn’t had the chance to feel safe enough to open.
Relearning How to Return to Your Body
I had to learn this the slow, gentle way.
Your body won’t rush back into desire it needs permission to exhale first.
Small things made a difference for me:
• Slowing my breath so my nervous system could soften
• Letting silence exist without guilt
• Taking warm showers just to feel my own skin again
• Releasing the emotional weight I had been carrying alone
• Retail therapy , yes, the kind where you buy something small and pretty just because (I know my women understand this 😉)
• Giving myself grace in the seasons where connection felt harder
Sometimes that little outing, that new candle, that pair of earrings you absolutely didn’t “need,” or that cozy lounge set that promises to fix your whole life… actually does something important.
It reminds you that you’re still allowed to feel good.
It reconnects you to pleasure in its simplest form.
And when the softness returned, so did everything else.
Touch felt warm again.
Connection felt real again.
Desire felt like mine again, not something I had to force.
A Gentle Reminder From Me to You
If stress has made you feel distant, numb, or disconnected from your own body, please don’t judge yourself the way I used to.
Your body isn’t resisting you.
It’s protecting you.
And the moment it feels safe… it reopens.
Every single time.
So soften your shoulders.
Take a deep breath.
Pour into yourself in the ways that feel nourishing, even if it’s a quiet moment alone, a warm bath, or a tiny retail treat.
Your desire is not gone.
It’s waiting for you to return to yourself.
